Funks happen. And if you suffer from depression or another mental illness, funks may happen more often than not. They can be debilitating, defeating, and overwhelming, making it seem as though life will forever remain an exhausting, dull wasteland of efforts you cannot make. Funks suck. But! – they don’t have to last forever. In fact, … Continue reading »
Make your own self-love bible. Make a journal that is full of your doodles, positive thoughts, prayers, and dreams. Make it yours. Make it sing. Carry it with you, keep it close, so that whenever you’re struggling you can pull it out and be inspired by the fact that, at one point, you felt good … Continue reading »
I’ve reached a sort of stalemate with my mental state in recovery. I’m not particularly motivated lately: I know I don’t want to be sick anymore but I hate what my body is becoming, and I hate how I can’t look in the mirror without feeling disappointed or upset or flat-out disgusted. This weight gain … Continue reading »
Yesterday I laid on the roof and watched the planes fly overhead, and I wondered lazily about the people inside them: Where were they going? What were they thinking? Were they looking out the window, down at the rooftops, and could they see the little speck that was me? Sometimes I feel like my problems … Continue reading »
Day 11 - What motivated you to enter recovery? At first, it was guilt. I saw how my eating disorder was affecting my family and it tore me apart: I loved them, but I also loved my eating disorder. It shouldn’t have been a difficult choice but it was. When I saw how upset and scared … Continue reading »
This video makes me cry every time. I can’t tell you how often I’ve done exactly this, how many nights I’ve spent sobbing in front of a mirror, pinching and kneading my flesh until it was red, punching or hitting myself as punishment for letting myself “get so big.” It’s sickening, the amount of authority … Continue reading »
It’s common for sufferers of eating disorders to engage in impulsive and self-destructive behaviors like sexual promiscuity, and I’m no exception. I think it’s obvious that I struggle with low self-esteem, and unfortunately that has held a lot of influence over my dealings with boys and how I allow myself to be treated. In the past, … Continue reading »
