“Guys just don’t get it,” he said, fidgeting in his chair. “When I tell a guy friend about my eating disorder they say, ‘Come on, dude. That’s a girl thing.’ They don’t understand, so I don’t tell them.” The person speaking was one of the two men present at the support group last Wednesday night, … Continue reading »
Way, waaay back in May I began the 30 Day Recovery Challenge. I did it on and off (mostly off) for a while but things got busy I guess and I stopped.. until today! Hooray! I’m picking up where I left off because I’ve struggled a little lately, and I think doing this exercise will … Continue reading »
My body image is terrible today; I feel awful about myself and my appearance, like I’m some sort of frumpy, pudgy lump o’ shit. Couple that with returning to the environment where I had been the most active in my behaviors, the ground zero of my eating disorder.. oy. Not a good mix. Today I … Continue reading »
As many as 24 million Americans struggle with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and EDNOS – eating disorder not other specified). In spite of the unprecedented growth in the past two decades, eating disorders research continues to be under-funded, insurance coverage for treatment is inadequate, and societal pressures to be thin remain rampant. -National Eating Disorders … Continue reading »
I’ve struggled these past couple weeks, so my therapist challenged me to write an encouraging letter to myself. What seemed kind of silly at first turned out to be a helpful exercise. It’s hard to say these things – nice things – to myself, although that’s who I’ve needed to hear them from the most. … Continue reading »
Last week I made a big decision about the next five months of my life: instead of returning to college in Vermont this fall, I’ll be staying here, in Baltimore. I’m just not in a strong enough place in my recovery to go back there, to the environment where my self-destructiveness and anxieties really peaked. … Continue reading »
I had the day off from the unit last Sunday and it was hard in a staring-at-my-plate, blinking-back-tears kind of way. It was my second day off (the first being Thursday a few days before) and it didn’t go very well. I didn’t plan my meals ahead of time, which resulted in a lot of … Continue reading »
My mantra lately is this: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I find myself pinching and squeezing at what I perceive to be fat: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I feel the urge to act on symptoms of my eating disorder or to self-harm: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I berate myself … Continue reading »
