Funks happen. And if you suffer from depression or another mental illness, funks may happen more often than not. They can be debilitating, defeating, and overwhelming, making it seem as though life will forever remain an exhausting, dull wasteland of efforts you cannot make. Funks suck. But! – they don’t have to last forever. In fact, … Continue reading »
Day 18 - Have you found a Higher Power? If so, what is it? Explain how it has helped you with your recovery. A lot of times I feel as though I don’t believe in anything but myself (and sometimes I don’t even have that) although lately I’ve felt taken care of. I don’t consider myself … Continue reading »
My body image is terrible today; I feel awful about myself and my appearance, like I’m some sort of frumpy, pudgy lump o’ shit. Couple that with returning to the environment where I had been the most active in my behaviors, the ground zero of my eating disorder.. oy. Not a good mix. Today I … Continue reading »
I’ve struggled these past couple weeks, so my therapist challenged me to write an encouraging letter to myself. What seemed kind of silly at first turned out to be a helpful exercise. It’s hard to say these things – nice things – to myself, although that’s who I’ve needed to hear them from the most. … Continue reading »
Last week I made a big decision about the next five months of my life: instead of returning to college in Vermont this fall, I’ll be staying here, in Baltimore. I’m just not in a strong enough place in my recovery to go back there, to the environment where my self-destructiveness and anxieties really peaked. … Continue reading »
My mantra lately is this: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I find myself pinching and squeezing at what I perceive to be fat: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I feel the urge to act on symptoms of my eating disorder or to self-harm: Don’t let the mind bully the body. When I berate myself … Continue reading »
“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” – Rabindranath Tagore For me, the sea is my eating disorder, treatment is my vessel, and the opposite shore is a recovered mind. I’ve been struggling a lot recently, treading water and getting tired. It’s a riptide, this disordered thinking; it sneaks … Continue reading »
Day 14 – Think about yourself one year ago. How have you changed? A year ago I had just started my recovery journey. I was struggling a little more than I am now, and was still using drugs, alcohol, and sex as an escape from the turbulence I was feeling inside. Now, I’ve learned better … Continue reading »
