The doctor gave me a discharge date: October 3rd. By then I’ll have been in treatment for exactly fourteen weeks – that’s ninety-eight days! Ninety-eight days of supervised meals and stepping on scales, of needles and tourniquets, of talking about feelings and coping skills and how to walk into a grocery store without having a … Continue reading »
Day 20 - Where do you see yourself in 10 years? I hesitate answering this question because I’ve got a tendency to idealize things and a knack for jinxing myself, but I like to think that I’d be in a good place in ten years. If all goes according to plan, I’ll be living a happy … Continue reading »
Day 19 - What is the hardest thing you had to give up because of your disorder/addiction? Control. My body, I feel, hasn’t been mine for a while: I’ve relinquished control first to the eating disorder itself and now to my treatment team. I’ve stepped back, allowing these other entities to push and pull me whichever way … Continue reading »
Day 18 - Have you found a Higher Power? If so, what is it? Explain how it has helped you with your recovery. A lot of times I feel as though I don’t believe in anything but myself (and sometimes I don’t even have that) although lately I’ve felt taken care of. I don’t consider myself … Continue reading »
Way, waaay back in May I began the 30 Day Recovery Challenge. I did it on and off (mostly off) for a while but things got busy I guess and I stopped.. until today! Hooray! I’m picking up where I left off because I’ve struggled a little lately, and I think doing this exercise will … Continue reading »
My body image is terrible today; I feel awful about myself and my appearance, like I’m some sort of frumpy, pudgy lump o’ shit. Couple that with returning to the environment where I had been the most active in my behaviors, the ground zero of my eating disorder.. oy. Not a good mix. Today I … Continue reading »
I called my mom tonight because I was feeling pretty lousy, and she dropped some wisdom on me: “You have the power to release the eating disorder. To demand it to leave. You are strong, and you’re acting like you’re not strong because you don’t believe you are … you are not this disease. You … Continue reading »
As many as 24 million Americans struggle with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and EDNOS – eating disorder not other specified). In spite of the unprecedented growth in the past two decades, eating disorders research continues to be under-funded, insurance coverage for treatment is inadequate, and societal pressures to be thin remain rampant. -National Eating Disorders … Continue reading »
