Today has been one of those days where I wish I were invisible. Walking to class this morning, I kept my eyes down, not bearing to look in the faces of Everyone Else, the Ones Better Off. I wanted to apologize for my appearance, for being the way that I am. I wouldn’t have gone … Continue reading »
“Guys just don’t get it,” he said, fidgeting in his chair. “When I tell a guy friend about my eating disorder they say, ‘Come on, dude. That’s a girl thing.’ They don’t understand, so I don’t tell them.” The person speaking was one of the two men present at the support group last Wednesday night, … Continue reading »
Sunday was the Baltimore NEDA Walk, where I walked with a group of women from treatment as well as a couple of my family members; we called ourselves StrongHer. I couldn’t be more proud of my team – we raised over $3,600 for NEDA, making us the top team in fundraising. The girls (and my … Continue reading »
Even the nights that could get better And even the days aren’t all that bad And after a week of fighting As more and more it seems the right thing.. Do you believe in something beautiful? Then get up and be it. Fighting for the smallest goal: To gain a little self-control Won’t anybody here … Continue reading »
Day 19 - What is the hardest thing you had to give up because of your disorder/addiction? Control. My body, I feel, hasn’t been mine for a while: I’ve relinquished control first to the eating disorder itself and now to my treatment team. I’ve stepped back, allowing these other entities to push and pull me whichever way … Continue reading »
My body image is terrible today; I feel awful about myself and my appearance, like I’m some sort of frumpy, pudgy lump o’ shit. Couple that with returning to the environment where I had been the most active in my behaviors, the ground zero of my eating disorder.. oy. Not a good mix. Today I … Continue reading »
The other night my friend and I drove around listening to the song “Hurricane Drunk” by Florence and the Machine: I brace myself cos I know it’s going to hurt, but I like to think at least things can’t get any worse.. “I love this song, it’s very much how I feel right now,” my friend said, … Continue reading »
As many as 24 million Americans struggle with eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, and EDNOS – eating disorder not other specified). In spite of the unprecedented growth in the past two decades, eating disorders research continues to be under-funded, insurance coverage for treatment is inadequate, and societal pressures to be thin remain rampant. -National Eating Disorders … Continue reading »
