Today has been one of those days where I wish I were invisible. Walking to class this morning, I kept my eyes down, not bearing to look in the faces of Everyone Else, the Ones Better Off. I wanted to apologize for my appearance, for being the way that I am. I wouldn’t have gone … Continue reading »
Day 14 – Think about yourself one year ago. How have you changed? A year ago I had just started my recovery journey. I was struggling a little more than I am now, and was still using drugs, alcohol, and sex as an escape from the turbulence I was feeling inside. Now, I’ve learned better … Continue reading »
It’s been days since my last post and I feel terrible for not writing, BUT! – the reason for the lack of posting is a positive one: I’ve been SOCIAL. As in, spending time with people and not being such a round-the-clock hermit. It’s been nice. I often say that I feel alone, and I … Continue reading »
Last weekend I went to the bars with a boy I used to know. He got drunk and a little handsy, but since we have a history together – and I’m always so desperately needing that coveted validation – I didn’t stop him. He said how much he wanted me, how good it was to see me … Continue reading »
One time, on the radio, some guy said he had an employee call in sick citing “a touch of malaise” as his reason. It seemed so silly and vague at the time, and it became sort of an inside joke between my dad and I, something that we say when we aren’t feeling well. Well, … Continue reading »
Tomorrow’s the day of thanks, but tonight I don’t feel real thankful. I realize that it sounds melodramatic but I can’t seem to shake this funk. I get into these pretty often (perhaps it’s time to switch medications?) and each time, I feel isolated, detached, and alone. All I want is to lie down and stare into … Continue reading »
