And I could be gone today, tomorrow could be close or it could be so far away And when I guess what I’m trying to say, if you can hear me now just know I’m so, so happy today… Continue reading »
Category Archives: Recovery Playlist
Mind / Recovery / Recovery Playlist / Spirit
Happy buzzing
I feel all sorts of buzzing inside my body, under my skin, vibrating my bones. It’s a good buzz; I am feeling it and feeling things are good. I have an overwhelming feeling of contentedness. I am okay, having accepted this happy buzzing. Although- there is a dark undertow of cravings and underlying urges that tug at … Continue reading »
Going through the door
The doctor gave me a discharge date: October 3rd. By then I’ll have been in treatment for exactly fourteen weeks – that’s ninety-eight days! Ninety-eight days of supervised meals and stepping on scales, of needles and tourniquets, of talking about feelings and coping skills and how to walk into a grocery store without having a … Continue reading »
Fighting for the smallest goal: to gain a little self-control
Even the nights that could get better And even the days aren’t all that bad And after a week of fighting As more and more it seems the right thing.. Do you believe in something beautiful? Then get up and be it. Fighting for the smallest goal: To gain a little self-control Won’t anybody here … Continue reading »
Shake it Out
This song speaks to where I feel I’m at right now; I can’t stop listening to it! Regrets collect like old friends Here to relive your darkest moments I can see no way, I can see no way And all of the ghouls come out to play And every demon wants his pound of flesh … Continue reading »
Hurricane Drunk
The other night my friend and I drove around listening to the song “Hurricane Drunk” by Florence and the Machine: I brace myself cos I know it’s going to hurt, but I like to think at least things can’t get any worse.. “I love this song, it’s very much how I feel right now,” my friend said, … Continue reading »
Close my eyes and count to ten
I’ve reached a sort of stalemate with my mental state in recovery. I’m not particularly motivated lately: I know I don’t want to be sick anymore but I hate what my body is becoming, and I hate how I can’t look in the mirror without feeling disappointed or upset or flat-out disgusted. This weight gain … Continue reading »
Bulletproof, nothing to lose
You shoot me down, but I won’t fall – I am titanium. Continue reading »
