These past couple days have been emotionally and mentally exhausting, to the point where it’s like my body will either collapse or break into a million teary-eyed pieces at any given moment. Like I’m stapled together and all my stuffing is about to come pouring out and I’ll fall, deflated and empty, to the floor. (Like … Continue reading »
It’s been a week since I’ve moved back to Baltimore although it feels like it’s been longer. Every time I come back, I realize just how much I’ve missed it. It’s grimy and weird and beautiful and a little offensive and I love it here – I’m convinced that there’s nowhere else really like it. … Continue reading »
“You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.” – Rabindranath Tagore For me, the sea is my eating disorder, treatment is my vessel, and the opposite shore is a recovered mind. I’ve been struggling a lot recently, treading water and getting tired. It’s a riptide, this disordered thinking; it sneaks … Continue reading »
You shoot me down, but I won’t fall – I am titanium. Continue reading »
Day 14 – Think about yourself one year ago. How have you changed? A year ago I had just started my recovery journey. I was struggling a little more than I am now, and was still using drugs, alcohol, and sex as an escape from the turbulence I was feeling inside. Now, I’ve learned better … Continue reading »
Last night’s post was written while I was in a high emotional state, so I wasn’t really thinking about how it portrayed my parents. Yesterday triggered a fight or flight response within me, and I panicked. But truth is, I’m incredibly lucky to have them. They do sooo much for me – more than I … Continue reading »
Are you familiar with Sisyphus? He’s the man from Greek mythology condemned by the gods to roll a giant boulder uphill, except as soon as he would reach the summit, the boulder would roll back down. He had to start again – and it would fall again – and he was left to repeat this task … Continue reading »
Day 11 - What motivated you to enter recovery? At first, it was guilt. I saw how my eating disorder was affecting my family and it tore me apart: I loved them, but I also loved my eating disorder. It shouldn’t have been a difficult choice but it was. When I saw how upset and scared … Continue reading »
