I was so siked when I saw this on xoJane’s main page today:
I went through all seventy-five pictures in the gallery and wanted to cry and laugh and smile and jump up and down all at once. What an awesome, beautiful project! And also, what an awesome, beautiful, giant help.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been struggling with my recent weight gain. I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been, and although it might seem dramatic and a little unreasonable, it’s difficult for someone like me in recovery to come to terms with. Body acceptance is something I’m trying to achieve daily, and although some days are better than others, most days my confidence is kind of in the shitter.
One of my biggest problem areas is my stomach. When I had my eating disorder, my stomach was flat, concave, with hips that jutted out and ribs that could be counted – something I prided myself on. Now, it’s the exact opposite: I’ve got roundness around my hips, a soft little pooch, and what seems to be a permanent crease across the middle from my belly folding when I slouch. I’m constantly fingering its folds, worrying that it’s big or ugly or gross. I’m always checking it out in the mirror, looking at it from all sides, sucking in and holding my breath, hoping it will stick.
But – no more!
The Real Girl Belly Project inspired me to share my belly with the world and say, Hey! This is my belly, and, like me, it’s been through a lot, but it’s healthy and it’s keeping me alive and for that, I’m grateful. Look at my little pooch! Look at my freckles! I’ve even got a tiny scar from when I got my gallbladder removed when I was three, and scratches from hugging my unwilling kitten. My new-found curves are feminine and are a testament to how far I’ve come. This is my stomach, and the more I look at the picture, the more I’m beginning to like it.
Viva la belly!