I was so siked when I saw this on xoJane’s main page today:
I went through all seventy-five pictures in the gallery and wanted to cry and laugh and smile and jump up and down all at once. What an awesome, beautiful project! And also, what an awesome, beautiful, giant help.
As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve been struggling with my recent weight gain. I’m at the heaviest I’ve ever been, and although it might seem dramatic and a little unreasonable, it’s difficult for someone like me in recovery to come to terms with. Body acceptance is something I’m trying to achieve daily, and although some days are better than others, most days my confidence is kind of in the shitter.
One of my biggest problem areas is my stomach. When I had my eating disorder, my stomach was flat, concave, with hips that jutted out and ribs that could be counted – something I prided myself on. Now, it’s the exact opposite: I’ve got roundness around my hips, a soft little pooch, and what seems to be a permanent crease across the middle from my belly folding when I slouch. I’m constantly fingering its folds, worrying that it’s big or ugly or gross. I’m always checking it out in the mirror, looking at it from all sides, sucking in and holding my breath, hoping it will stick.
But – no more!
The Real Girl Belly Project inspired me to share my belly with the world and say, Hey! This is my belly, and, like me, it’s been through a lot, but it’s healthy and it’s keeping me alive and for that, I’m grateful. Look at my little pooch! Look at my freckles! I’ve even got a tiny scar from when I got my gallbladder removed when I was three, and scratches from hugging my unwilling kitten. My new-found curves are feminine and are a testament to how far I’ve come. This is my stomach, and the more I look at the picture, the more I’m beginning to like it.
Viva la belly!
I LOVE YOU AND THIS IS SERIOUSLY AMAZING!
when you say that “my new-found curves are feminine and are a testament to how far ive come” i can only relate. i talked to you recently about this, but my new body, its hard to feel okay inside of it, on the outside i pretend days that i love myself but when every walk and step makes me sick to think of how i feel and look to the outside world. but then i remember, do people actually think this about me as i am walking across the street? probably not, and i am selfish to think that.
i want to do the same. embrace it all. i want to like the pictures more and more every day because in all honesty, our weight is never the same day in and day out, our clothes styles are different day in and day out, how i look is different day in and day out, overall: i am not the same every day. i can change as the world changes.
Thanks, Sarah!
You’re right – the way we see ourselves is selfish and a little obsessive. There’s no way that people on the street are looking at us and thinking to the extremes that we are about our bodies. I love you so much, and I love our talks & emails. Stay strong, lovely! You’re a beautiful soul, and a beautiful girl.
Think of how far we’ve come since treatment – we were so scared and lost and sick, with nothing to hold onto. We’re still a little scared, and a little lost, but at least we’re healthy. Love love love you xxox
BELLYdancer
‘damn, africa, I’d liek to see you up there, shakin that thang.’
hey, this is MY BELLY. I fucking hate the word belly. it reminds me of jelly. I like to say tummy because that’s the word I use with da children. or tumtum. or l’etomach.
ok.
bye :]
you might have not gotten the mean girls reference. but it’s from mean girls.
Thanks for the input, Rachel… Extremely relevant. Haha.
Alexa – I love this! I fell asleep after I looked at the Belly Project with you and I didn’t get to discuss it. I’m so happy you did that and that you have come to new (and positive!) realizations. I agree with this “My new-found curves are feminine,” pretty laady. :)
BJ, it is officially time, once again, for me to pester you about not RSVPing to my email! UCH I miss your typed words, which I would rather hear out of of your mouth. Lez do skype! send me your name!
3 WAY . omigoodness imagine that. what a scene that would be.
Hey let’s Skype! EtCole69